- One of the most dangerous problems in our country is pollution . People in Egypt can face different kinds of pollution like water pollution ,air pollution , noise pollution and so on .
The most dangerous kind of them in Egypt is water pollution .
- Water pollution (the Nile pollution) is caused by throwing rubbish of people and factories in the Nile , also the poisons of factories are another important cause of water pollution .
-Water pollution effects our life badly , for example the most dangerous diseases came from water pollution and also the death of water creatures .
- There must be solutions for this problem to keep our environment clean . In my opinion the country should prohibt people from throwing rubbish or factories materials in the Nile , and it also should construct factories away from water resources and raise the awareness of people about the importance of water in our life .
The most dangerous kind of them in Egypt is water pollution .
- Water pollution (the Nile pollution) is caused by throwing rubbish of people and factories in the Nile , also the poisons of factories are another important cause of water pollution .
-Water pollution effects our life badly , for example the most dangerous diseases came from water pollution and also the death of water creatures .
- There must be solutions for this problem to keep our environment clean . In my opinion the country should prohibt people from throwing rubbish or factories materials in the Nile , and it also should construct factories away from water resources and raise the awareness of people about the importance of water in our life .
Hi Heba,
ردحذفThanks alot for writing the first draft.
The draft is good and well organized, but I have some comments:
1. The paragraph must not start with a dash.
2. There are some mistakes like using nouns instaed of verbs (such as effects, it must be affects)
3. I want you to add more content and information to your essay.
Finally, I want you to read the essays of 3 of your friends and send comments to their essays. You can use the editing checklist uploaded to the class weblog in editing the essays of your friends.
hi hoba, your thoughts are great, but you need to make your essay much longer .I know that its the first draft ,but you need to exist more thoughts.
ردحذفgood ideas
ردحذفkeep going
the reasons of water pollution that you mintioned is very short
good work heba and keep forward
ردحذفbut you need to make your pharagraphs more long
hi hoba your essay is good but you need to give more details
ردحذف